Surrogacy is a beautiful and life-changing journey for many families, but it’s also surrounded by a lot of myths and misunderstandings. Whether you’re exploring surrogacy as an intended parent or considering becoming a surrogate yourself, it’s important to separate fact from fiction.
Let’s clear the air and debunk 10 of the most common myths about surrogacy.
Myth #1: The Surrogate Is the Baby’s Mother
Truth: In gestational surrogacy — the most common form today — the surrogate is not genetically related to the baby. The embryo is created using the intended mother’s or donor’s egg and the intended father’s or donor’s sperm. The surrogate is simply the carrier, not the biological mother.
Myth #2: Surrogates Want to Keep the Baby
Truth: Surrogates go through extensive psychological screening and are deeply committed to helping another family grow. They enter surrogacy fully understanding their role and form a clear legal agreement before the journey begins. Surrogates overwhelmingly report feeling joy and pride — not attachment — when the baby is born.
Myth #3: Surrogacy Is Only for the Wealthy
Truth: While surrogacy is a financial investment, many intended parents save for years, explore financing options, or receive help from family. Some nonprofit organizations and fertility clinics also offer grants or payment plans. Surrogacy is becoming more accessible than people often assume.
Myth #4: Surrogates Are Exploited
Truth: Ethical surrogacy respects and protects the rights and health of surrogates. Agencies and clinics that follow best practices ensure surrogates are well-compensated, supported, and fully informed. Most surrogates are financially stable individuals who choose surrogacy for altruistic and personal reasons.
Myth #5: You Can Just “Find a Surrogate” and Start Right Away
Truth: Surrogacy is a process that requires careful screening, matching, counseling, and legal agreements — often taking months before the embryo transfer even happens. It’s a structured journey, not something that happens overnight.
Myth #6: Surrogacy Is Illegal Everywhere
Truth: Surrogacy laws vary widely by country and even by state or region. In many places, surrogacy is fully legal and regulated. It’s crucial to work with professionals who understand the local legal framework to ensure everything is done properly.
Myth #7: Intended Parents Have No Control Over the Pregnancy
Truth: Intended parents are very much involved. While the surrogate has full autonomy over her body, both parties collaborate on decisions ahead of time, including birth plans, communication styles, and medical preferences — all guided by a legal contract and mutual respect.
Myth #8: Surrogacy Is a “Last Resort”
Truth: Many intended parents choose surrogacy as a first-choice path to parenthood, not just a backup plan. LGBTQ+ couples, single parents by choice, and people with medical conditions often see surrogacy as their ideal family-building option.
Myth #9: Babies Born via Surrogacy Aren’t as Bonded to Their Parents
Truth: Bonding is about love, care, and connection — not just biology or birth. Parents who use surrogacy often form incredibly strong bonds with their child through skin-to-skin contact, feeding, and loving involvement from day one.
Myth #10: Surrogacy Is Selfish or Unnatural
Truth: Surrogacy is an act of profound generosity and courage — from both the intended parents and the surrogate. It may not be “traditional,” but it’s a deeply human way of building families. There’s nothing selfish about love and commitment to bringing a child into the world with care.
Final Thoughts
Surrogacy is a complex and beautiful process and understanding the truth behind common myths can help build empathy, respect, and confidence for everyone involved. Whether you’re considering surrogacy or just want to learn more, the key is to stay informed and seek guidance from professionals who truly understand the journey.
If you have questions about surrogacy, we’re here to help guide you every step of the way.